Rumination
You might find your mind going over the same things again and again.
Replaying conversations. Analysing what you said or didn’t say. Turning over past decisions, mistakes, or situations that still feel unresolved. It can feel relentless – like your mind won’t let things settle.
Often, it comes with a sense that if you just think about it a bit more, you might find an answer. Or finally feel some relief.
As a psychotherapist and counsellor working online and in East and West London, I see how rumination can become exhausting, and how easily it can leave you feeling stuck.
Why it happens
Rumination isn’t a flaw or a lack of willpower. It’s your mind trying to help.
The brain can treat overthinking as a form of problem-solving – a way to gain control over something that feels uncertain or distressing. There’s also a natural negativity bias, where your attention is drawn more strongly to what went wrong rather than what went well.
For many of the women I work with, this is also shaped by earlier experiences – particularly around trauma, attachment issues, or high internal standards. You may have learned to be very self-aware, very responsible, or to anticipate problems before they happen.
Over time, this can lead to patterns of rumination, anxiety, and low self-worth, where your mind keeps circling without resolution.
How I work
In our work together, we don’t try to force the thoughts to stop.
I use a combination of talk therapy, somatic therapy and body based therapy, because rumination isn’t just happening in the mind – it’s connected to the nervous system.
Using Lifespan Integration, we can gently process earlier experiences so your system doesn’t feel the need to keep revisiting them. This supports nervous system regulation and helps reduce the intensity of those repetitive thought loops.
I also draw on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) to help you relate differently to your thoughts – so they don’t pull you in or take over in the same way. This creates more space to step out of rumination and reconnect with what matters to you.
What begins to change
Over time, many people notice their mind starts to feel quieter.
The thoughts may still arise, but they don’t grip in the same way. There’s less urgency to analyse or “figure everything out”. You may find it easier to let things be, without getting pulled back into the same loops.
This often brings a sense of relief – and more space to feel present, make decisions with greater clarity, and move forward without constantly being pulled back into the past.